Alright, Disappointments, here is our full run down of the events surrounding the event that was The Magical Christmas Caroling Truck.

Follow along as we do our best to answer questions like:

• How did it start?

• Work Nights?!?

• Who did all that work?

• What the heck was this thing?

• Who was invited to the secret Christmas Party?

• What happened at the secret Christmas Party?

CONTENT TRIGGER WARNINGS: Religious Ab*se, High Control Environments, Grooming by Authority Figures, Mental Health Struggles, Substance Ab*use: Alcohol, 🚨CHRISTMAS CAROLS🚨

It’s our Season One FINALE, folks! Our guest this week is a guy we found in a bar that one time: Nick Hays. As the Living Word Fellowship was falling apart, Nick had a backstage pass to all the red flags as he and Leandra started to date, and also, Stasia was there!!! Now he’s here to share his unique perspective as an outsider with inside information on the collapse of a cult.

Join us as Nick takes us through the timeline and recollects:

• Meeting two babes at the best bar in Burbank

• Being reassured our church was “Not that kind of church”

• Finding out it is!

• Finding out it’s MUCH much worse!

• 2018 and beyond!

Don’t fret! We’ll be back this winter with a CHRISTMAS TRUCK Special (*ominous jingle bells*) and we’ll be super duper back in Spring 2026 with a whole new season!

CONTENT TRIGGER WARNINGS: Religious Ab*se, High Control Environments, Grooming by Authority Figures, Mental Health Struggles, Substance Ab*use: Alcohol, 🚨POPE HAT🚨

She’s BACK, ladies and gentlefriends, and she’s here to tell you some more wild shit in a really calm tone. This week is part deux of our interview with Sandra Alex, and we’re picking up exactly where we left off: with Sandra headed from Rio to Iowa. She’s a metaphorical mother to all, and literal mother to Leandra, specifically.

Join us once again as we hold our collective breaths and listen to Sandra remember:

• Trying to be part of the “IN” crowd in Los Angeles

• Getting electrocuted at 18 because of a pastor’s negligence

• Her own understanding of the “Vision of the Kingdom”

• A “Prophecy” to John Robert Stevens from a KKK-affiliated “ministry”

• Navigating her faith after 2018 Cult Implosion

CONTENT TRIGGER WARNINGS: Religious, $xual, and Spiritual Ab*se, High Control Environments/Relationships, Grooming by Authority Figures, Substance Ab*use, 🚨JEZEBEL🚨, 🚨🚨GLEANINGS🚨🚨

HTD - The Motherlode! This is IT, Disappointments! The first installment of this mother loving episode is here! Our guest this week is Leandra’s ACTUAL mother, Sandra Alex! We had to break this one up into chunks because it is literal gold. It is: the MOTHERLODE!

Join us as our jaws hit the floor over and over and over, while Sandra shares mind-blowing memories like:

• Getting DOUBLE GROUNDED by her mom in front of Jack Bruce from Cream (and some famous Brazilian musicians)

• Getting UNgrounded by attending a Cult Youth Group meeting

• Learning English to read cult literature

• Getting called a Nephilim to her face by Marilyn

• Helping to fund the first cult property in Brazil (Mount Zion The First) and what horrors subsequently occurred there

CONTENT TRIGGER WARNINGS: Religious, $*xual, and Spiritual Ab*se, High Control Environments/Relationships, Grooming by Authority Figures, Depression,🚨🚨ARBA 🚨🚨

This week on HTD we talk to our childhood friend Stephanie Hardman about what it was like growing up in different Living Word Churches and how it impacted us in all kinds of crazy ways!

Join us as we discuss:

• Dads!

• Being burdened with the purpose of The Living Word agenda

• Keeping the faith

• God Lizards that totally did appear

As always, thank you and we treasure your attention!

CONTENT TRIGGER WARNINGS: Religious, $*xual, and Spiritual Ab*se, High Control Environments/Relationships, Grooming by Authority Figures, Suicidal Ideations,🚨DADDY ISSUES🚨, 😱SNIPPET OF WORSHIP SONG😱

You’re in for a real treat today, folks! Our guest is an intelligent, hilarious, kind-hearted human, an actual internet sensation, and also one of our dearest long-lost friends. It’s Beau Brown!!  @BigBeauBrown 

We are so thankful for the privilege of reconnecting to reminisce about the horrors together, such as:

• The Centers of Learning Experience™️

• THE RIVERTON CEMETERY

• Cheating on a test and still failing

• Saturday School

• Getting in trouble for advocating for labor rights in high school

• Witnessing a car hit the school (which time, tho?)

CONTENT TRIGGER WARNINGS: Religious and Spiritual Ab*se, High Control Environments/Relationships, Forced Manual Labor, $*xually Inappropriate Behavior, Grooming by Authority Figures, Christian Private School, Public Shaming, Stonewalling, Speaking In Tongues, 🚨THE RIVERTON CEMETERY🚨

THE SUMMER CHAOS CONTINUES! After having a full blown technical melt down for a few weeks in a row, we are proud to bring you a re-RE-recorded Part Deux of our Shiloh summer camp romp. We pick up where we left you last: disoriented, mid-way through camp, and gearing up for another big event.

Buckle up as we immerse you in memories of:

• The Canadian National Anthem

• The classic “Iced-coffee-no-breakfast” mistake and its inevitable consequences

• 🔥FIRE🔥HAZARDS🔥

• Sh-sh-shakin’ for the Lord

• Amphitheater debauchery

CONTENT TRIGGER WARNINGS: Religious and Spiritual Ab*se, High Control Environments/Relationships, Forced Manual Labor, $*xually Inappropriate Behavior, Gr👀ming by Authority Figures, Using Grief to Manipulate People, POOP, Amphitheaters, Wandering Eyes,🚨BRINGING FORTH THE KINGDOM🚨 “It’s Happening Now” 👏👏

BRACE YOURSELVES, DISAPPOINTMENTS! This week we take you on PART 1 of a journey we’ve embarked on TOO many times… from wherever you are in the world, to a place we ne’r need return: SHILOH SUMMER CAMP! womp WOMP!

As is tradition, our Shiloh Summer Camp plans got derailed and delayed, just like our flights to Cedar Rapids. You’ll have to bear with us through some technical difficulties, and let us trigger your memories and/or paint you a picture of:

• THE SHILOH COMPOUND!!

• Corn!

• Grueling & constant manual labor!

• Getting in trouble for things you DIDN’T EVEN DO!

• A great big show

• MORE CORN!

If you ever experienced Shiloh, you’re used to waiting unbearable amounts of time between things you care about, and on that note, please come back for Part 2.

CONTENT TRIGGER WARNINGS: Religious and Spiritual Ab*se, High Control Environments/Relationships, Forced Manual Labor, $*xually Inappropriate Behavior, Grooming by Authority Figures, Amphitheaters, Cornhole,🚨THE HIGHEST SHELF🚨

Stasia’s Ep Copy Hello, disappointments! This week we take a deep dive with the resting bitch queen herself, the eldritch terror: Anastasia! From what dimension did she emerge? Where was she in 2018? What about the rest of her life?

Join us as we discuss:

• Cult Royalty: The Carol of it All

• Shiloh Psalm Trauma

• Dating?? In This Economy?

• Other trauma!

CONTENT TRIGGER WARNINGS: Religious and Spiritual Ab*se, High Control Environments/Relationships, Narcissistic Ab*se and Manipulation, $*xually Inappropriate Behavior and Grooming by Authority Figures, Being Called Dramatic, PSALMS

Ok, Disappointments, hold on to your butts. It’s the Roast of Uncle Icky 360. This week we’re diving into Leandra’s “360 Review” of Uncle Icky as a boss and pastor from back in October of 2018.

From inscrutable expectations to labor exploitation, this review gives a peek into Leandra’s experience as an indentured—*COUGH cough* sorry, as an EMPLOYEE of the Living Word cult. FOR COMEDY PURPOSES! And also for healing purposes lol.

Join us as we un-gaslight ourselves and unpack past-Leandra’s perspective on:

• Uncle Icky’s Management Style (fuckin’ L O L)

• The cost of dissent within the cult

• Conversational manipulation tactics

• CLASSIC cult information control structure

• How Uncle Icky treated women (and how uncomfortable that was)

CONTENT TRIGGER WARNINGS: Religious and Spiritual Abse, Labor Exploitation, Physical and Emotional Ab*se, High Control Environments/Relationships, Narcissistic Ab*se and Manipulation, $*xually Inappropriate Behavior and Grooming by Authority Figures, Childhood $*xual Ab*se, THE LITERAL ACTUAL STRUCTURE OF A CULT read from the perspective of someone who had no idea what a cult was, BARN. I repeat, BARN.

This week we have a particularly long episode for you, because we couldn’t part with any of the content we loved it so much. Listen at 1.5 speed if you must, but it is a great time the whole way through because this week our guest is Mike White! Former TLW member and “blow out,” he is also the guest of our sisterbrothermother podcast, Snapping Out Of It! Enjoy the madness as we get into topics like:

• The true meaning of RBF

• Reclaiming your creativity after musical trauma

• Recognizing red flags in relationships

• The moment you realize pastors can’t read minds

CONTENT TRIGGER WARNINGS: Religious and Spiritual Ab*se, Physical and Emotional Ab*se, High Control Environments/Relationships, Narcissistic Abuse and Manipulation, $*xually Inappropriate Behavior and Grooming by Authority Figures, Childhood $*xual Ab*se, The Ever-Present Danger of Diddlers, Word For The World, Big Boney Energy, Mommy and Daddy Issues.

Ladies, Theydies, and Gentlefriends, we present: OUR FIRST GUEST! She is an incomparable multidisciplinary artist, she is the WICKedly talented host of the podcast “Oops I’m In A Cult!” She is the one and only: Charity Navalesi.

Join us as we cackle, weep, hyperventilate, and emotionally regulate our way through topics like:

• The search for healthy healing tools

• Navigating pesky attachment patterns

• Rock bottom’s bottom

• Sweatin’ it out for Jesus

• Where not to put garlic

CONTENT TRIGGER WARNINGS: Religious and Spiritual Abuse, High Control Environments/Relationships, Narcissistic Abuse and Manipulation, Inscrutable Sexual Analogies, Heavy Meddling, Garlic Snatch